


forever (it doesn't exist)

by heecheondo (HChnD)



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Drabble, M/M, lapslock, me venting on my ults x2 combo, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 15:27:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17900738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HChnD/pseuds/heecheondo
Summary: it was meant to be forever, but changmin forgot eventually everything ends. even love.





	forever (it doesn't exist)

**Author's Note:**

> no context i just wanna *** and am somehow using it as inspiration for fics

it was supposed to be forever. 

hah, that was a stupid thought. but it made sense, since changmin was that stupid. the typical hopeless romantic who would promise the universe. who believed in every promise his beloved made and dreamed of an eternity shaped for two. 

everything ends at some point. maybe you can't witness, maybe you're in denial, but everything eventually ceases to exist. their love was not an exception. 

there was no such thing as exceptions. and he was a fool not to think about it before. but he was the type of guy who always believed that people were kind, that people needed chances, that people changed. he truly believed that. 

lee jaehyun was trouble. he had gotten every single warning beforehand. but when he was asked out by him he threw it all through the window and decided to give it a go. 

and it was a little impossible not to fall for him eventually. he made it so easy, he was so caring and everything felt genuine. he was certain the older was in love with him as much as he did. 

he wasn't the player type. that wasn't what he was told, and so he never thought the older was playing with him, just fooling around to later on discard. he could feel how important he was to jaehyun when he spoke at him, about him, even when they weren't together. everyone around them knew they were an item, thought they were cute and was happy for their happiness, even those who had told changmin to be careful. and that was one of the things that made him believe so much in all of this, seeing that those who were so against the older suddenly support him and even befriend him as well. 

he thought it would be like this forever. 

forever doesn't exist. 

he was too absorbed in his own dreams to see it coming. it wasn't that there were no hints, he just couldn't grab them until it was too late. looking back it was so goddamn obvious, the way jaehyun seemed more distant, how he tensed whenever changmin mentioned his future wishes, how he didn't voice his thoughts out loud. he had thought it was because the older has his own personal issues and didn't pressure him into that. he knew that he had his commitment problems, those that had been told him repeatedly before they even started dating, but he knew eventually it would fade. he had proven himself to be loving, to be worth it, and that he was loving enough to treat his wounds better. jaehyun loved him too, and he was sure that he would do anything for their love, as much as the younger always did. 

it wasn't like that. 

changmin could do everything for his hyung's happiness, comfort. he would sacrifice and had sacrificed a lot for their behalf. 

jaehyun would never. sure he made promises, and sure he fulfilled them, but only if it was possible. he didn't do the impossible, didn't make the effort to risk. 

he thought that it was just that he was careful, but really, it was because he didn't mean the same. yes, he loved him, he knew it. he could feel it. but it would never be enough. 

he tried to pay no mind at it. because people love differently, right? he can't expect his hyung to be like him, to be him. he was dating jaehyun. not himself. and he should accept him for who he is. 

but he got colder, quieter, and changmin kept saying that no, it was okay, he just needs some time. 

yeah. he really did need some time, and he got into the same conclusion. 

“changmin-ah, we can't be a thing anymore. goodbye.”

he couldn't get it. however, he still didn't say a thing. because he was the type who always believed what his beloved said. 

even if he had promised it was forever, when he said that, he knew he was being just as genuine. 

forever didn't exist. it was just a thing changmin had implanted in his heart. forever didn't exist, except that it did and only he could see. jaehyun didn't believe in forever and was willing to let it go, yet changmin did and kept holding it dear. 

forever didn't exist. except that it did and he couldn't help but still love him. crave for him. and their eternity shaped for two.

**Author's Note:**

> no i didnt go under a break up but i still wanna *** because sad people *** i'm allowed ok  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heecheondo) | [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/heecheondo) | [other links/about me](https://heecheondo.carrd.co/)  
>   
>   
>   
> the *** means cry btw


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